Today, while biking, I listened to an intriguing podcast. The guest conducted a year-long experiment of not lying, leading to unexpected outcomes. It was liberating, yet it resulted in lost friendships and strained family ties.
For many, this presents a dilemma. Our lies are often minor, meant to avoid tough conversations or protect others’ feelings. It’s challenging to confront a friend or family member with uncomfortable truths. Despite claiming a preference for honesty, we may not always welcome it. The movie ‘A Few Good Men’ echoes this sentiment with the line, ‘You can’t handle the truth.’ After all, who wants to hear they’re unattractive or unintelligent?
Yet, speaking the truth about someone behind their back is arguably worse than being honest to their face, as it shows disrespect and unfairness.
Sometimes, lying may seem necessary for someone’s immediate well-being, such as not burdening a grieving person with more bad news. Alternatively, opting for a ‘deferred truth’ by postponing a sensitive topic can be a kinder approach.
A thoughtful principle could be, ‘Be generous with your truths and frugal with your lies.’